9th Grade Journal Entries (Diary)

I moved to Grass Valley my freshmen year of high school, and my first day of school was, of course, Valentines Day. Here are some entries I had put in my journal while I was living there.

May 17th, 2005

You know how those cartoons, when the character runs off a cliff, but they don't fall until they look down. I use to think that was the secret to life, not to look down. But now I think its not about not looking, its about not realizing your floating high up in the air, and you don't know how to fly.

May 18th, 2005

Were all standing on the edge of a cliff all the time, everyday, and were all going to fall. Our choice isn't about that, its about wether your going to fight the inevitable and go kicking and screaming or if your going to surprise everyone and jump.

May 19th, 2005

Looking at the horses I realize they are like people. When one horse is moved into the round coral because of an injury or behavior issue, the other ones appear to be loyal. They stay close to the coral and comfort the other horse, but as soon as they realize they arn't getting any grain out of it, they all leave that one horse to fend for itself.

May 20th, 2005

People often ask me what my favorite flower is and I always reply the sunflower. I guess I like them so much because they're ugly and they remind me that everyone, even God, makes mistakes. Then I take another look and see that they arn't ugly, just different. A mistake. A beautiful mistake. They remind me that all mistakes are beautiful, it just depends on how you decide to look at them.

June 1st, 2005

The purpose behind religion is to have faith, so why do so many people demand proof? If there was proof out there that supports a certain religion, then what would all the others be in existence for? When it comes to religion I believe that if you believe it, it is real. If you believe in heaven and hell, then those places will exist for you, but if you believe in reincarnation, then you will be reincarnated. It may not be simple, but what is in this world? Its all about faith, about stepping off a limb and believing your god and or goddess will be there to puck you back up or maybe catch you so the fall never happened. And those people who are looking for an easy religion that they don't have to work for, its not gonna happen. Every religion takes dedication and energy to follow. People die and are prosecuted everyday for their beliefs..

June 2nd, 2005

In just a short amount of time my living arrangements will change once again. They say that Sherman County isn't working out, things never work out. There sending me to live with my mom again in Prineville Oregon. The reason things don't work out is that I don't know what I want, but I know its not what I have. All I find are questions. Maybe my answers are in Prineville, or maybe Ill find more questions. Maybe there are no answers...

June 4th, 2005

I learned at a young age to never complain, never to cry. Tears don't do you any good. They don't solve problems, only consume time.